Could my brother get custody of his unborn child?
ok…my brother just found out that his ex-girlfriend is pregnant and that there is a 80% chance that it’s his…the other 20% might be one of our cousin’s (but that’s a whole other thing). well what I’m asking is can he get custody if shes illegal and has no stable home from the baby to go to?…and also what are the chances that he’ll get the baby, if the baby is his? and what happens is she refuses a paternity test?…can she?
I have 20 years as a Fathers’ Rights Advocate, so this is going to be a little long winded.
First off, unless you live in California or Arizona, men have no legal rights to the child, even if his name is on the birth certificate. However, he’s financially responsible. This is what happens when you shack up and you’re not married, than produce a child.
You have an up mountain, not hill, battle ahead of you. In a word, prepare, prepare, prepare.
First off, go to the child support enforcement to setup a voluntary order. Wait for them to file against you will result in you paying all court costs. This can save you thousands. One warning though. If later it turns out not to be your child, you cannot discontinue paying, except in the states of Maryland and Illinois. You can do your own paternity test, just Google DNA testing, but you need to hurry.
Take a certified parenting course. The court is going to order you to take it anyway, so by showing you’ve taken it only looks good to them.
Start keeping a daily journal of all you activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand.
The court will order you into mediation, so take the lead first. Instead of hiring attorneys, go to a mediator and try to hammer out an agreement. A mediator is an attorney or paralegal with certified training as a mediator. You each have to pay half the fees in order for the mediator to have the appearance of being unbiased.
If you and the mother are civil, consider Bird Nest Custody. In this the child lives in one home and each parent live there for 3-4 weeks, than switch. You live with friends, family, rent a room, etc. on the off time. In this manner, your child’s life is not disrupted. They are not being shifted back and forth. They keep their own room, friends, school, etc. It is hard on the parents, but than the child comes first. This is the form of custody rocker Ted Nugent had.
If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. There’s an educational manual in the file section that can teach you what you need to know. The organization it came from is defunct due to attorneys that tried to take it over and make money from it.
Take the time to learn what you can and should do.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DadsHouse/
A couple of additional
http://www.glennsacks.com
http://www.parentalalienation.org/
Now, I’m going to remind you that it is best for the child to have both parents in the home, otherwise your child has a 400% higher potential for early age sexual activity, drug use, criminal behavior, etc. Without being consider a stalker, do anything possible to keep the family together. Here’s some books to read that might help.
Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?r=1&afsrc=1&pwb=1&ean=9780060933791&z=y
Ten Stupid Things Couples do to Mess up Their Relationships
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?r=1&afsrc=1&pwb=1&ean=9780060512606&z=y
Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Ten-Stupid-Things-Men-Do-to-Mess-Up-Their-Lives/Laura-Schlessinger/e/9780641865411/?itm=8
Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Stupid-Things-Parents-Do-to-Mess-Up-Their-Kids/Laura-Schlessinger/e/9780060933791/?itm=12
Your Father Is A Rockstar Chapter 18!!! ! !
